Can I just tell you how much I want to go right now? There are times, like right now, where I just want to drop everything and head overseas and be God's hands and feet. I don't even know where. Just go. Back to Vietnam and Thailand...over to Europe...to wherever God leads. I just want to go. I just want to rely on God wholly. I realize I totally don't do that here. And I run into so many roadblocks. The battle is so different here than overseas. Really. I feel minimalized here. Not worth it. Pastor Rob's sermon comes to mind. SO good. SO needed. SO necessary to speak into the lives of the people here...I think Satan comes at us in a completely different way here. He tells us we're too small. We can't make a difference. We're not strong enough. We don't have enough faith. We lack courage. We're weak...hopeless...what can we ever do? But the funny thing is, we're the exact people God wants, because then He can use us, all of us, wherever He needs because we know we can't do it on our own and are completely surrendered to Him and His will.
Overseas, it's a battle to survive. It's literally life or death. Here, in America, it's a battle against our minds. Our hearts say yes and yearn for the things of God, but our culture and way of life beat down our spirits and our will.
I see my friends going overseas and leaving everything to do God's work, to show others how much God loves them. What's different about here? Why is it so much harder? Is it because the faces are familiar? We worry what people will think of us? I had this thought a few days ago. Really, in the grand scheme of things...when we get to heaven...are we really, honestly, going to care what people thought of us here? No...we're going to be really glad we did or said something when we had the chance, or heavily regret that we didn't.
The Lord does not call the equipped but instead He equips the called. It simply is not your time yet.Patience is a virtue. Cherish all the moments that you have now right where you are...you will never get them back. The Lord has something for you in each moment.
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with this so much since the doctors released me to go back to work last year, my first thought. Was to become a missionary, I wanted it so bad! I still do, I feel I'm suppose to use my Spanish, but then God puts people in my life, like a few nights ago...after sitting at applebeed by myself I left it was around 1 am I get outside and there's a hispanic lady trying to change her tire...I could tell she was having a heck. Of a time. So I asked her if she needed help (in English) she said no...someone is coming to help, so I got in my car and was about to lave, then its like God was saying what are you doing! Get out there and help that woman! So I did, and I spoke Spanish to her I could tell this made her feel very comfortable, we talked for a while and anyway longer story short...her and the 2 guys she was with showed up at my home church today :)
ReplyDeletethis summer lets go road/missiontriping? :)
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